(Nexstar) – Every time I text my teenage sister, my iPhone warns me that she has a notification she has silenced, implying that she may not see it immediately. The strange thing is that she usually responds immediately or within minutes. She is almost always on her phone, despite the habitual use of her mobile phone not hindering its functionality.
This immediately made no sense to me. I (millennials, if my bewildered tone is not yet clear) use it when I’m not on my phone (basically when I’m asleep or in the cinema) so I’m always using it without getting in the way.
But for the younger generation, it seems more than a switch to silence notification. It is a social signal that gives them room to breathe (or hide).
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“Mute calls create a buffer against unnecessary communication and potential social pressure,” writes Duygu Balan, psychotherapist in psychology.
Psychotherapist Lauren Larkin told HuffPost that we can set boundaries in an age where people feel they can reach them anytime. “It helps create a sense of control over relationships that aren’t serving them by being less accessible or having less access to what others are doing.”
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According to the biggest fans of the feature, it’s not necessarily about reducing your phone usage. It’s about controlling how you want to use it and when you want to interact with other people. If you’re scrolling through social media, it can be a mental break for you and you won’t want to repeatedly ping new messages that break group chats and news alerts.
If you’re trying to focus on something important, these interruptions can also take you out of the flow state, discover research, fragment work, and force your brain to have time and energy.
In a personal essay published in Refinery29, Kelly Washington doesn’t make a call and doesn’t interfere with “the greatest technical features of all time.”
“We need to regain our agency in our time and in our lives, as the world and everyone in it is in a constant state of overload.
Similarly, you may find improvised calls getting in the way.
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“I really don’t get a call,” recalls my sister who had almost succeeded and had to explain to her grandma. “I really want to receive texts at my own time and respond to them.” (She sent me six minutes of voice memos to explain that exchanging voice memos is new normal for catching up with friends.)
Additionally, your friends are usually warned of notifications, so if you don’t get a response right away, it can reduce your social anxiety. If something is really urgent, there is always a “notification” feature.
If you want to take notes from young people, don’t get in the way. iPhone and Android users can find options in their phone settings.
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